All too often we get to a point in our lives where we wonder where God has gone. We want to hear him speak to us and wonder where he has disappeared to. I was reminded again today about the old saying that when it feels like God is distant it isn’t Him that moved. He is faithful and just and longs to have this relationship with us that is inconceivable to those who don’t know Him. When I took a break from writing it was only meant to be two weeks as I was moving, yet life happened, and the excuses flowed, and I never started up again. To be honest, I felt like I was done with this chapter of my life, when I started, I dreamed of a following of readers that would change the world. High expectations from an unknown writer yet aspirations and hope stove me forward. After three years of seemingly minimal results, this felt like a good time to jump out, it wasn’t like anyone cared that I had stopped.
I don’t write this to ask for pity or comments of encouragement. I write this as an apology to you those who did read what I have written. You are important and there have been many moments where I have received confirmation that what I was doing was important. My pride and ego wanted something I don’t think that I would have been even close to prepared for. I know that God has called me to ministry and a journey I began three years ago is still going. But I had once again begun filling my life with distractions that have been working to silence God in my life. So here I am halfway around the world in a hotel room reconnecting with God and knowing that I cannot live the same anymore.
So, I am asking for forgiveness, I haven’t always followed through on what I have written in the past. I posted about accountability, yet I have not been able to find anyone to hold me accountable. I don’t put myself out there to help my brother be accountable either. I get scared and wonder what they will think of me if I call them out on their actions. It is something I have to work on, easy to say but harder to put into action. It confuses me how one can go to church on Sunday then get drunk the next week. How do I reach out to someone like that who I want to see grow in their faith yet give themselves into drunkenness? Are they ready for that sort of spiritual intervention?
Don’t hide your light! Let it shine for all; let your good deeds glow for all to see, so that they will praise your heavenly Father.
Matthew 5:15-16 Living Bible (TLB)
For far too long I have been hiding my light, embarrassed by the glow and the power it has. Our lights are meant for more than out gatherings on Sundays, we are called to so much more then that. Far too long have I(we) been tiptoeing around the fact that this world that we live in needs to see who Jesus is. Who he is to them. Our brothers, sisters, families, friends, co-workers and more. I(we) have become so over sensitized into believing that what we have will offend others if we share it. That we will lose them in the process never to speak to us again. Jesus himself told us that following him would not be easy. He knew that some would forsake you for your choice, but that the reward would be far greater than the pain caused by losing the loved one. We focus on the pain we receive here on earth when it is only a blip on the grand scale of eternity.
It is time for a change. It is time for believers to step up to the calling we have been given. It is time to wake up from the slumber and rise to the occasion. I for one am so tired of the distractions and the excuses that I have been giving to live like this. It is time for a change. In writing this I am giving each and every reader permission to hold me accountable for my actions. If what I say or do contradicts what Jesus asks of me then please let me know. If you take the time to share this, you are making the same request of anyone who reads it. Are you ready for that?
If you are reading this and don’t quite know what this is all about, it boils down to this.
- God Loves you, he created you,
- God wants to have a relationship with you,
- Sin separates us from having this relationship, and due to a serious of events all mankind is living in sin,
- God sent His Son Jesus to live as a man, and die on the Cross, taking on all the sins past, present and future, paying the ultimate price, his life.
- Jesus did not stay dead, he rose again after three days defeating sin once and for all,
- And he is ready willing and able to take your sin from you if you would only ask it of him.
I would like to say that if you follow Jesus everything will change, and life will be filled with rainbows and puppies, but that would be further from the truth. You will, however, feel whole, love, joy and peace. You will be joining a family of millions who lift one another up. We will fall as you might assume from my writings above, but without these moments we cannot grow. In storms trees send their roots deeper to avoid falling over, they grow stronger because of the storm. If we continue to trust God in the storm, we come through it we will be stronger because of it not despite of it.
So will you join me in another 50 Days of Pray? It’s time for a Change.
Father, forgive me for my inactivity and laziness. I ask that you strengthen me in all that I do. I no longer can sit back and just watch the days go by not doing anything. I need to be a man of action and working to share the love you have for others to those around me. Remove any fears I may have of failure and insecurities I am holding on to, no more excuse. The harvest is now and I want to be counted among the workers. Help me to be effective in sharing your love with my world. I know I have prayed this in the past but it still rings true today, they matter to you so they have to matter to me. Amen